Kelly Hudson: Citizen Hudson

mymotherwasright:

jenkirkman:

**I wrote this last night but was shy about publishing it. But I feel good about it today. Please forgive any grammar or spelling errors. I’m not the best editor. ** - Jen Kirkman

I was supposed to talk to the Larry Mantle show on NPR this week. They wanted to talk to me about the recent…

When I was at Wellesley Betty Friedan came to speak. It was mostly awful and uncomfortable—she was in the early stages of dementia and entirely exploitative of her management to still be booking speaking engagements for her. That said, she had a few lucid moments in her talk that really stuck with me. Someone asked what was next for the women’s movement—what was left to conquer? The fog lifted for a moment, and with crystalline precision she summed up the heart of this whole stupid debate. She said the challenge now wasn’t proving ourselves capable—that had been done. What needs to change are the institutions that enforce ideas that most individuals no longer hold. And it’s hard, because it’s mostly ineffable.

This part from Jen Kirkman’s post really resonated with me:

And this is why I hate talking about sexism in comedy.  Because it’s hard to put your finger on it when it’s happening.  All I can tell you is that it sets off something in your gut.  You feel suddenly like you have no right feeling comfortable in a club.  You feel suddenly like no matter what you do, you’re being judged differently.  It’s just a feeling.  It’s why I related to Dave Chapelle when he “freaked out” and walked away from his Comedy Central show because he just “felt” that someone in the room was laughing at his jokes not in the right way.  He’s not saying that anyone in the room was racist but he’s saying there are still issues of race and when you’re someone who wants to be funny for a living it’s a bummer when huge “isms” suddenly are on your head to deal with.  I didn’t sign up for that. 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told by male friends of mine, who I respect immensely, that they honestly don’t think there’s any difference in being a man and a woman in comedy. They’re saying it because they’re intelligent, rational people who know that there’s is ZERO difference between a funny guy and a funny woman. They’re not being insensitive or callous or assholes—exactly the opposite. They’re assessing their experience and drawing a logical conclusion from it.

But.

There is this weird, ineffable thing that puts you on the spot to even try and describe…it’s just a difference. It just is. And you feel stupid even saying it because you don’t even know what you’re saying and you think “why am I saying it, I just sound like I’m whining and it’s not like anyone’s being terrible to me all the guys I know are great and supportive and wonderful and I’m doing what I want and it’s fine anyway.” But it’s still there. It’s there in the numbers of female teachers at UCB, the number of female performers doing bit shows, the number of female improvisers on weekend teams, the number of female (comedy!) television writers, the number of headlining female standups, the number of female black cast members at SNL (3 in thirty-six years of existence), the number of female network executives, the shock and surprise that a comedy movie written by and starring females could be a box office hit, etc., etc., ad infinitum.  

And honestly there’s nothing really to do but keep working really hard until all that changes, as it must, and we all don’t have to worry about it anymore. Like anything else in this world, it takes time to catch up, and I’m confident it will. But we’re not there yet. Not quite.

I guess what I’m trying to say is: let’s keep our heads down and focus on the very important business of being hilarious, but look up every now and then just so we’re keeping an eye on those numbers.

I guess that’s what I’m saying.

I will probably regret writing this and change my mind about it like 300 times and wonder if I said it right or should have said anything at all but…here it is!

Anyway, I think Jen Krikman said it all and better anyway so just read her original post.

Reading the Eddie Brill article made me feel pretty sick and tired and mostly just made me feel defeated and confused and like UMMM WHAT? WHAT DO I SAY? SHOULD I BE MAD? WHAT’S HAPPENING? DURRRRRR… so in those cases, I usually just shut down and go to bed. I don’t LIKE talking about this crap because I fucking HATE acknowledging it.

But.

I’m glad Jen spoke up and I’m glad Langan spoke up too. I think they feel the same as me.